Jcyf94's Blog

I am honestly overwhelmed by all the features available to me, and I need to spend significant time and energy study most opf them in detail so I will not be accidentally accidentally leaving myself unprotected and prone to hidden dangers and traps. I do not aspire to write for a living, or again devote way too much time and energy on writing as a refuge or an escape., only again to find myself uncover on my blind side. I should not be mesmerised by modern technology and complex details, but as embarrasing as it is to admit that I am indeed so, there will not exist a personal tutor to guide you along all the details and setting I need to pay extra care to. At the age of 37,Bbeing attention deficient and no longer as mentally sharp as I once was, I have to swallow my pride, make mental adjustment to my flattening learning curve, and ask for help. It requires no entry barrier to use Facebook or Twitter; writing down your posts there as a blog is easy and convenient. Intuitivity without understanding how the platform functions probably had caused irreveresible harms permanently and drained away invaluable time and efforts to salvage what can be salvage.

As the past three years and what had happened to me only I and my tormentors know, settings on your blog could never be trusted to work. I spent several monthes doing my blog with setting permanently on completely private. The blog which I do allowed open acces to public had had absolutelyly no visitors. Yet, my entire blog was read, recorded in detailed, and used to either coerce, abvenge, or put fear into me.

The way it was done was using advertisements in the printed press to advocate certain political issue, but many of the words and phrases are used in the article are identicle to those in my blog, under the exactly same contexts. No name was ever mentioned, but the threatening tone cannot be more apparent to me. There is no use asking for help because it involves two things: 1. that I am to receive this message and there were that many coincidences in lie, especially ones that happen in a prepared, published newspaer advertisement. 2. that there is no way I would be able too seek any help because it involves both having the evidence to back up and creditability to have others believes something that reqires trust in something unbelievable because it involves my personal memories and speculations. I would be lucky of I were be sent to a psych unit involuntary. Things like such have completely evicerate my blind tryst in internet, yet it is the only tool that keeps me connected. I rarely could find someone who would be willing to talk about what I thinking and interested in; I even find it difficult to carry on small talks. However, I am trapped because I no longer feel safe writing without restaint, even as something as trivial as brainstorming.

Many had suggested I used my pen instead of a keyboard. I will not divulge why I am following such advice and still feeling that I need to start a blog again. Changing the service provides might be of little use. What I had involved myself with is bigger, and I have no idea why.

I really wish I could say that it is just an unfortunate “misundering”. I suspected whether hackers were involved. I suspected I accidentally have pissed of governments and been deal “person of interest”. I even pretend that I am being overly paranoid and learnt to forget with no energy to gorgive first.

How I lept from learning the difficulties to master the essentail fuctions of a blogging site to my past unspeakable experiences, besides the fact that I split the writing in two days, is actually directly connected. I hoped by learning to control the envoronment, I would build a safer and more private realm to myself, being free of trauma and terror to write, to express, to vent and to heal.”

By now, some would call me a pussy, a coward, a daisy, and generally an emotionally inferior male, having to blab about “traumas” and “damages”, while painting an image of a new-agey, priveleged, jobless and gutless loser of a man who deserves to suffer all I had suffered. The ugly and beautiful side of internet include anonimity and never having to face people you encounter. Sometimes, when push comes to shove, the power of human determination is unquantifiable, and to vent your frustration while continuously being degraded and humiliated, for example, may force a person to determine his fure core of action without the help of rationality.

In a bad mood, in desperation, or in pain, it is easier to transform all your negative emotion to rage, followed by intense Hatred. For example, I would travel 10,000 miles to the other side of the earth unannouced and show up at your door, sharing a cup of Java, and having a long and serious conversation regarding our past online encounters. This is what I would imagine I would do, if I happen to reach a breaking point. I have begun to study the intricacies of internet and electronics. As I stated, no one is willing to constantly live in fear; I got to learn to let go, or pinpoint the sources and the identities of inflictors pain of fear. I just hope most things can come to a pleasant and just resolutions, while sharing a cup of Java. Most things ought to be able to solve peacefully with a closure of tranquility.

CYBERBULLYING, OR BULLYING OF ANY SORTS HAVE LONG-LASTING DAMAGING EFFECTS ON A NORMAL AND PLEASANT MAN. PHYSICAL AND MENTAL TORTURES GO WAYS BEYONG LONGTERM DAMAGES, AND THEY ARE TRULY UNSEAKABLE IN ALL ASPECTS. IT MUST BE KEPT IN THE MINDS OF EVERY LIVING PERSON.

“There is no privacy on the web,” many have repeated many times. From what my experiences tell me, the loss of personal privacy and the rise of large-scaled surveilance have already started a while ago, and there is no turning back. It is perfectly OK to call me a conspiracist; if I do speak in details, it is also perfectly OK to call my a deranged schizophrenic. I leaked a little of what I know and oberved the responses.

I decided that “the sound of silence” is a very good sound.