Jcyf94's Blog

How is it that I can be defensive and vigilant yet careless and reckless at the same time? How is it that Others always told me I am smart, sometimes too smart for my own good, when I constantly feel like an idiot with stunted growth? How is it that I am that disabled when trying to express simple concept by speech and adequate in my view at least when attempting the same by writing? Why do I keep on writing but resent it at the same time, knowing I am no good at it? Why do I loath complaining but appear unable to stop? Why am I hated and loved to the extreme? Why do I hate and love to the extreme? What am I hoping to accomplish by this? Why do I keep on asking questions with no solution? How do I let others know the physical pain brought about by invisible violence? How do I as an figurative adolescent learn the knowledges of the grown ups? How can people stand to react when people throw these piles of questions to you, as genuine as they are? What do I hope to communicate? Where do I need helps?