Jcyf94's Blog

Emotional pains exist. People whose emotion is dead will think that emotional pains are sorry excuses for pussies, pantsies and weaklings. They will questioon your manhood and sanity, and insult your family and friends. Emotional pains are as intense as physical pain, but I will never expect people who do not understand to understand. I will treat the pains my way and anticipate any a…ttempts to take advantage of my conditions. I cannot afford to be paralyzed by emotional and physical pains any longer. I need to keep my control and stop the pain, but I am not able to trust others anymore and I expect others not only never to trust and believe me, but always to avoid and despise me. I would never succeed, but would never accept failures. Now failure to force myself to regain as fast as possible the most basic competency and ability to act means failure to counter the present threats. Failure to protect my family means failure to keep myself alive. Keep telling people it is another excuse and calling me a cheat and a degenerate. Keep threaten me and insult me. There are worst things that can be done to guarantee my immediate and permanent demise, and I have no control over it. Keep telling me I am lazy, bored and pretending, like many others who can no longer defend themselves. Whoever had disabled me mentally and never has the balls to claim his legact of brutal crimes against me and my family, it is your choice to decide my fate. It is life and death situation for me and I will never surrender my life to you willingly. You have to kill me yourself.