3 September 2012: Conclusion in two parts: I am innocent and I remember everything.

by jcyf94

I feel a liitle more relieved after I was finally able to stat what ought be done without exposing what alwats remains sacred and private to me.

I am always a foreigner whereever I go; I am not certain if I have the strength to deal with such fact for the remaining years of my life. People will always use the word “excuses” to accuse and control pe…ople and force people to do things that they do not know how to do, things that they clearly do not have the capability to do, or things that they absolutely loath to do from deep of their heart. With deep gratitude to my parents, I was blessed with not having lost essential values from my childhood to this day.

They did their best to have kept me away from people, places and conditions that were trained, constructed and designed to destroy the core of human spirits that was once an healthy, wholesome and unshattered entity as meant to be.

Many advocates and executioners insist that inhumane and unreasonable goals and demands, along with terror-driven and trauma-inducing nature of environment serve to strengthen character, install discipline, develop manhood and integrate obedience as the central fabric of society. What is left unspoken yet obvious to most, that always remains truly the most essential functions.

They consists of:

  • To sustain the legitimacy of people on the top of societal hierachy by ironfisting controlling power over the thoughts, behaviors, and even lives of docile masses with wealth as both carrots and sticks. .
  • To purge thoroughly people who:
  1. Even being institutionalized with intense re-education enforcement, fail in timely fashion to adapt, adjust, and atone to the new normal.
  2. Are perceived to be physically, psychologically and behaviorally outliers that are assigned to be socially delinquent, equivalent in the new era to pathological bacteria, necessay to exterminated incrementally and thoroughly, to maintain the appearance of somatic harmony, paving the path to another Great Leap Forward to finally achievei the irreversible transformation towards univerally standardized socialization with permanent peace in sight.
  • To identify and neutralize potential threats to the Authority, focusing on ones with tendencies to
  1. express opinions or facts with potential to foster unrestrainted and unsanitized thoughts and behaviors,
  2. ask excessive questions with unidentifiable motives, and
  3. contemplate acts of defiance with feeling of contempt carefully concealed.

People laugh when I activel root against my self-interest. They said it is a sign of being too comfortable with life and too bored that I started to look for troubles. The solution is to cut off my financial support and to scare me straight using various of pain-inflicting and fear-inducing techniques, then I will appreciate what I have and fall in line with the rest.

I do not root against my self-interest. I do not live a debaucherous life. I do not seek to trouble anyone. I do not ever take what I have for granted. I do not despise work and hope to God I can quickly recover so I can do my job ASAP. t I do not need to be straightened out. I do not need to be scared into obedience.

Now, I have seen my parents betrayed and humiliated needlessly by unsavory “friends”. I have periodically had to suffer from untimely physical pain. I have continuously had to deal with trauma from chronically induced fear. I have lost my basic functions of subsistence without anyone’s knowledge for fear of permanent involuntary incarciration sanction by government on medical ground.

I mistakenly thought if I had achieved something worthwhile, people would kinow I took thier threats and coercions seriously. I was still eager to prove I have always strive to improve myself. The treatments I received are used against the enemy of the state. I realized too late that those people never had my best interest in mind and that they had no reason to see my betterments. What I thought was a foreign plot to use me as an example to showcxase their mights that they can get to anyone with such ruthlessness turned out to be more than that. People, some of who watched me grow up, held the similar contempt against me and used it to target my parents. Now I have no one to turn to whom I can trust.

Those people said I deserve all these. Those people said my parents deserve all these. Maybe I cannot triumph over thier mights and brutality. I am now keeping my silence and accept the only lesson I learnt from all these: Wealth and power are the basis for the ethics and morality in this land. That is the very traditional value I never got to fully comprehend until I became the sacrificial lamb.

This is my story, I end everything here here.