Jcyf94's Blog

I know things I know, which is why I take gamble in my life.  I have to reveal my thoughts and actions to complete strangers, many of who desperately want me dead, incapacitated, or void of creditability because of what they had done to me.  I cannot sleep at night.  The sleeping pill will not help.  The daytime always starts half-conscious.  Everything I enjoy and aspire I am not able to remember.  I need to pound enough coffee to be barely functional. Methylphenidate worked but it is not an option now because everyone thinks I would just try to get a fix.  I cannot go to any other doctors of any sorts now because of “beauty”.  Many desperately try to paint me and make me as a delinquent addict so to maintain that drug users are evil thus need to be exterminated like germs.  They will use any means to make my life unlivable to prove that, whether I use Methylphenidate or not.  I fully understand how vicious, brutal and dark-hearted people are capable of because I witnessed and experienced first.  They are the ones who remind me of the third reich and they are powerful and ruthless leaders of the society, private and public sectors.  I eat to release panic stress and chaos.  They want to see me suffer slowly until death.  I fear them and loath them, and their dogs.