Jcyf94's Blog

It is hard to let go the past trauma and the current dilemma. I never served in the military, so I am in no place to compare what they had gone through to my experiences. I hope trauma can be cured and is being cured without further damaging the survivors. Even though it is not cost effective to treat any type of trauma, I hope the ones who suffer and are rendered motionless are not considered sunk cost to be left to suffer continuously or even to be eliminated to reduce cost. I have been self-medicating but afraid to seek real help because the possibility to be treated as disposable waste lingers, as hard as I try to convince myself what I heard was merely hoax. Nothing is impossible, even the unimaginablely inhumane treatments to fellow men. I witness it. I am living through it. I am determined to overcome it. I have lost too much trust in people, especially the profesionals, to make any changes, knowing treatments very often out-damage the sympton itself. I am rather be called a sensitive and fearful recluse than a psychopath or plainly uncurable; no one would willingly accept such labels and fates, or worse, be perceived as incurable, hopeless, or wasted permanently. This is the dilemma any good-intentioned people and the victims of attacks would have to face. “My life is not over. My future is not done. My ability is not wasted. I am not pathologically abnormal.” I am fighting to keep that from being taken away involuntarily. And I know I am not alone.